God did not put me here on this Earth to shine, He put me here to show you how it's done. To hell with popularity - divinity - identity. I choose to be me and I make the rules. Stay punk, beauties.
White Co-Worker: That's not how you say it.
My Dad: But you knew what I meant so why do you have to make a big deal out of it.
White Co-Worker: Aww come on man, it's funny, lighten up will yah Nestor?
My Dad: You know I speak 5 languages, right? How many can you speak?
White Co-Worker: Just English
My Dad: Tell me something. What does a cow say?
White Co-Worker: Moo?
My Dad: That's right, the cows in my country say that too. You know why? They can only speak one language *walks away*
White Co-Worker: *sheds white tears*
I JUST CUT MY HAND ON MY OWN BRA WTF
AND I GOT A PAPERCUT FROM THE BANDAID PACKAGING?!?!
Next Time: glassbottledemon breaks their knee on a pillow and gets pneumonia from a soothing cup of tea
The worst part is that actually once I broke my arm by tripping on a pillow and another time I got pneumonia from sharing a water bottle with someone who had it. ;U;
IM CHOKING ON MY OWN LAUGHTER
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked